I would like to thank my arms, for always being by side. My legs, for always supporting me, and my fingers…because I can always count on them.
this will be my speech when i win an oscar
Don’t forget the hips, for not lying.
I always channel my emotions into my work. That way, I don’t hurt anyone but myself.
having siblings is weird bc like one minute u want to strangle them with their own intestines and then later ur singing dramatic duets together
do you ever see a picture of someone with a body like yours and you’re momentarily comforted like they look pretty good…i probably look good too
remember when shakira filmed a video from inside her vagina
when im a parent i won’t take my kid’s electronics when they get in trouble i’ll just take the charger so i can watch the fear in their eyes as they use it less and less while the battery slowly begins to run out
my parents do this already…
they owe me $392352355 dollars cash by tomorrow morning for copyright infringement bring your lawyer